Why affirmations are not a bunch of hippy crap

Before I started using affirmations, I was driven by self-criticism. Whatever I did, the voice in my head told me I was not good enough, thin enough, clever enough, caring enough…you get the idea. On the days when I was knackered from broken sleep, whilst doing the school run off cold tea and toast crumbs, that voice became a siren wail.

The criticism permeated everything. It started to colour my attitude to news, friendships and my writing. Why bother? No one will ever consider me worthy of listening to or being read.

My husband sat me down and gently pointed out the negativity. He also mentioned, as our family’s focal point, everything I thought had an impact on everyone else around me. Far from being unimportant, I was the one in charge of the family mood. When I was calm and happy, so were the kids and (therefore), so was he.

It sounds so obvious when written down. But society installs that little critical voice at an early age and stay-at-home mothers are routinely disparaged as worthless, whilst women are trained to think about others first and themselves, last.

This is where affirmations helped me. They are a form of attitude training that can whip your mindset (and mood) into shape. I do them hand-in-hand with my morning’s meditation and I noticed a very tangible improvement after the first month of doing them.

  • Instead of jumping to a negative conclusion, I would stand back and be more charitable (or at least, get a good laugh at the situation!)
  • I became kinder towards myself
  • I became more patient with the kids
  • I became more ambitious about what I could do and:
  • I became bolder in my mistakes (because how else will I learn?)

Have you ever taken off a tight belt or signed with relief after kicking off your high heels? When I removed my inner critic, that’s how I felt: a big, expansive “ahhh”.

How do I start affirmations?

Decide what you want to change. What negative things do you say to yourself, or others? For example:
“I’m too fat”
“I’m too old”
“I don’t have enough money” or “I can’t afford that”
“I’ll never have the time to do xyz”

Take the saying and flip it.

So “I’m too fat” becomes “I am blessed with a strong, active body. I am nourishing it with good food on my way to a healthier weight”.
Instead of fat-shaming yourself and piling on the hate, start to cherish what you have. Eating healthy food requires time and thought, so start by loving yourself and being worthy of that investment. Note too: your affirmation is in the present. You are telling your mind it’s happening now.

Here are a few more.
“I am open and receptive to all the wealth life offers me”
“I give and receive help as a sign of strength”
“My energy matches my curiosity. I am ready for today’s adventure”

I usually have one “main” affirmation I say every day and one for the month that changes, according to my goals or personal development. My affirmations tell me who I am, what I am capable of and how I will get my results. It takes less than a minute to repeat them five times, whilst “feeling” the positive emotions that you get from living the affirmation. This is powerful stuff, especially in the morning, as you are setting your manifesto for the day ahead. My main affirmation is:

“I grow in love, wealth and success every day. I help others to do the same. I give to the world in my own way. I am a writer, witch and woman.”

It helps if you know exactly what your affirmation looks like. Mine is hugging my family (love), helping my clients (wealth) and building my business (success). Writing this blog helps me to help you and I also donate time and money to my chosen charities. So, for every sentence, I see these outcomes and feel the happiness in achieving them. By round five, I am buzzing!

Action Tip

Give it a try. Write your affirmation on your mirror, add it to your phone or stick it on your car’s dashboard to repeat in the traffic jam. Make it easy to fit into your routine and commit to saying it every day for a month. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the results.

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